If there's one thing I hate, it's when people argue over something pointless. You can't imaging how many times I have lost friends because they argued with me over something so unbelievably trivial that they couldn't remember what it was a week later. But alas, hating arguments doesn't prevent them from happening. The worst kind of argument, in my opinion, is one where you're not interested in the subject whatsoever, rendering you useless when it comes to opposing the argument.
A couple of friends of mine dragged me into an argument a couple of weeks ago at school, where they were discussing something about divorce and why they liked and disliked the idea. I'm rather neutral to the idea since my opinion wasn't going to change the chances of the law being passed or not. I was dragged into the argument when they noticed me looking on nonchalantly. I didn't want to side with either one of them, since that might have caused one of them to feel like I was betraying them, but I had no choice as it was. I expressed my views, leaving them both enraged since I disagreed with both of them, and although I tried to pull myself out of the whole argument, the more it turned into an attack. After a good hour, the argument had evolved into a name-calling show of ignorance. Both of them seemed to have joined views to oppose mine. I refrained from answering their insults which lead to them becoming angrier. The argument ended when we had to return to class.
They forgot all about the argument for the duration of the lesson, but still dropped coy hints of them disliking my views in the following lessons. This became annoying very very quickly. It resulted in me screaming at the top of my lungs when they finally got on my last nerve. They've been avoiding me since then, even though we still talk casually.
I'm not one to hold grudges, but I don't want to be a pushover either. I'm usually always the first one to apologize but this time I refuse to apologize for something I didn't do. I didn't even want to share my thoughts to begin with.
This seems to be happening quite often nowadays since two days ago I also had the misfortune of being dragged into an argument that I has no interest in. To make matters worse, I didn't have enough knowledge on the topic to be able to defend myself against the cruel words being spewed.
Maybe it's just me, but I don't think anyone has the right to attack someone in an argument when the person is unwilling to attack back. I felt very uncomfortable in both situations. Am I just being hard headed? Should I stick to my views regardless or should I be the mat everyone wipes their feet all over and just give in? It wouldn't be the first time I agreed with someone just to shut them up, but I don't want to give these people the false hope they thought they would get by attacking me verbally. I really don't know what to do in these situations. Maybe I'm just antisocial. What would you do?
Have your views been challenged? You don't have to defend your views if you think the argument is invalid. Well, there are two approaches:
ReplyDelete1) nod your head and wait for the argument to finish one way or the other
2) distance yourself from the argument. Physically.
My views about either topic haven't changed. I just don't want to have to argue with more people because my views are different. I wanted to say I agreed just to avoid having the same argument again. My views aren't going to change no matter what they say, but it's better to know they think you agree with them rather than have to go through the days knowing they hate you for thinking differently.
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